An Open Letter to Crazy Cat Ladies

Dear Crazy Cat Ladies,

I’m all for equal rights. I’m really behind the LGBTQI movement and the progressive direction feminism is heading. I have hope we can address the concerns intersectionality raise in an empathetic and articulate way. And to live in a future where the highest virtue, freely apprehended by all, is one of compassionate equality. I’m all for it.

But I am going to miss one little thing. Something that I had never realised I had until one day I was told it would be taken away. Something that was gifted to me as a child, without me even asking for it. I had been using it all my life, for my enjoyment, at the expense of a minority. And it will soon be gone: Crazy cat ladies.

In a future where everyone is compassionately equal the term “crazy cat lady”, will be a thing of the past. Like the gesture of a backhand slap; it feels good to do, but you know its a little wrong.

And I’ll miss that. I love the crazy cat lady. Recently, on tinder, I matched with a person and their bio read “future career goals: crazy cat lady”. I swiped right, it was funny… But that was the first red flag. And, unfortunately for her, we dont yet live in a world that agrees with all “alternative lifestyles”.

And that’s why the crazy cat lady has to go. Because the joke I just wrote had sexual innuendo. Yet, the truth is, due to unresolved trauma she would push people away when they got too close. In turn she found that her need for affection and nurturing was met in adopting and caring for rescue kittens. She was only on tinder to see if her own affirmation of this “alternative lifestyle” was genuine.

So the term “crazy cat lady” has to go. And yet, something will be missing. Because we won’t be able to write in our tinder bio “future goals: crazy cat-person”, that sounds like a person who is trying to surgically resemble a cat. Whereas a “crazy cat-man”, sounds like a maniac in a cat suit… or a superhero. And that’s why the crazy cat lady has got to go.

So long crazy cat lady, you were good to me but I know in my heart it’s not right. I will miss you like I will miss easy job interviews, automatic loan approvals, and justifying myself and patronising people at the same time.

And whenever we meet someone who is single, over 30, lives alone, and has more than two cats,

We will fondly remember you.



Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: